BRAINWASH YOURSELF BEFORE SOMEONE NASTY BEATS YOU TO IT

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INVITATIONS

Change yourself in the way you want everyone else to change

Love your enemies in case your friends turn out to be jerks

Brainwash yourself before someone nasty beats you to it

Write a love letter to your evil twin during a lunar eclipse

Fool the tricky red beasts guarding the Wheels of Time

Locate the master codex and add erudite graffiti to it

Dream up wilder, wetter, more interesting problems

Change your name every day for a thousand days

Exaggerate your flaws till they turn into virtues

Kill the apocalypse and annihilate Armageddon

Brag about what you can't do and don't have

Get a vanity license plate that reads KZMYAZ

Bow down to the greatest mystery you know

Make fun of people who make fun of people

See how far you can spit a mouthful of beer

Scare yourself with how beautiful you are

Stage a slow-motion water balloon fight

Pretend your wounds are exotic tattoos

Sing anarchist lullabies to lesbian trees

Commit a crime that breaks no laws

Sip the tears of someone you love

Build a plush orphanage in Minsk

Feel sorry for a devious lawyer

Rebel against your horoscope

Give yourself another chance

Write your autohagiography

Play games with no rules

Relax and go deeper

Dream like stones

Mock your fears

Drink the sun

- Rob Brezsny

JESSICA SNOWComment